Thursday, November 04, 2004

Charm City

In case you didn't know-I live in Baltimore. I am not from Baltimore, I just live here...now. I am originally from New York. I moved here about 10 years ago when I transferred colleges. A few weeks later I met The Husband, who was then just The Hookup, then he became The Boyfriend and well....I stayed after graduation. This did not make my mother the happiest woman in the world. I believe she had visions of me weighing 90 lbs. having my hair professionally blown out every other day and making 6 figures by the time I was 25. Needless to say...I live in Baltimore- I need to lose 20 lbs, I know how to blow out my own hair, and my salary...well it has a 6 in it. My mom, whom we shall refer to as the Queen of Midtown once told me that in NYC you do not cross the street when the light says Don't Walk. I was 28 at the time. Apparently, she believes that once you leave the island of Manhattan cars don't hurt when they hit you therefore I must not know to wait until the sign says WALK. Did I mention that I spent 20 years living there. Just wanted to refresh your memory.

She claims I can not possibly relate to anyone on Sex and the City, because I don't understand how NYC effects every fibre of your soul. The woman is obviously delusional, either that or she has just spent way too much time underground waiting for the 6 inhaling subway fumes. Do not get my wrong I HEART NEW YORK. Love it. Especially during the holidays. But I am happy here. I have my own life. I'm only angry every few weeks at complete strangers-not every day. Baltimore is manageable. It's quirky. I've got a big park across the street from my house. I get to sit in traffic here too. I can't cross the street when the sign says Don't Walk without getting hit by a car. It's......charming. Plus after 10 years of living here. I know EVERYONE. Seriously. If I don't know them personally then they know a friend of mine.

So.... Mom....I will not be moving back to NY, I will not raise my one day baby there, I will still visit you, even though you will never visit me because I "live in the South". I do love you but you are a total wackadoodle, Hon.

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