Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Not the Mama

So, I mentioned in my previous post that I had been a nanny for about a year. Although I would love to amuse you with all the sordid details of that, I won't, because A) apparently my nanny stories are not as amusing to others as they are to me B) you never know who may be reading and I don't want to incriminate any god awful parents, ahem, I mean people, who may or may not have been supposedly raising these children when I was not at their home.

Anywhoooo- the older of the two children was this notoriously cranky 2 year old who loved to scream at the wind for blowing her hair in her face. The first time I saw her was when I went for my interview. The front hallway of their home was very dark except for the light coming from the kitchen. There was an image running towards me with her hands waving in the air (like she just don't care) and she stopped right in front of me.....stared....screamed....and ran back to the light at the end of the hallway. Seriously-it was love at first sight.

So blah blah blah a year goes by blah blah blah I occasionally come home from work crying blah blah blah...we sing A LOT...she gets time outs A LOT...we spend every waking moment from 8 am-5:30 p.m. together...and then..i leave. That my friends was the hardest night ever. I put her to bed crying (me not her). She wiped my tears away, even though for the entire year before I had been the one to do that. I promised her it was not her fault and told her I loved her and left. <>

We went out a couple of weeks ago and she introduced me to everyone she saw as her best friend. Who would have thought that I at 30 would be honored to have a 3 year old refer to me as her best friend? I understand the importance of having a nanny when you are working to help support your family, or you are a stay at home mom who just needs a couple of hours a week to get your life in order and be an adult, however when you are a stay at home mom who just "can't relate" to her 2 year old and you pay someone to come into your home for about 50 hours a week, you best be thinking of stronger forms of birth control. She has no idea what she was missing that year. Maybe some time I will go into it in a little more detail, but in the meantime I am just psyched that my "best friend" and I are going to see Nemo on Ice this weekend.

Sunday, October 24, 2004

Therapy for the financially challenged

This has been a very big year. HUGE. Lots and lots of changes. Ginormous ups and downs. Chaos. Let's see...I quit my dead end, bullshit pushing, sales job with nothing lined up, got married (that was nice), became a 29 year old full time babysitter, bought a house, turned 30, almost divorced my new wonderful husband for not acknowleding the importance of turning 30, spent 10 months looking for a "life changing" career, found it, started at the very bottom of the corporate ladder all over again, and gained about 20 lbs. The result...still married (still very nice), live in recently purchased home with nice husband, obese cat, I love my job, and my ass is now huge.

Of course, it is a well known fact that when you love your job, 99% of the time it pays crap. Therefore some of the little things that I had grown to love had to end- such as therapy. Cigarettes, wine and food, why those things, my friend, are neccesities so they stayed, plusI didn't really like my therapist anyway. She made me cry...A LOT. So here I am-lots of new beginnings and I need an outlet. So I started a blog. Only I don't want you to tell me what I should do, or why I do the things I do, or what I might consider doing next time. It was behavior like that, that left the therapist at the bottom of the neccesity list.